Medicine for ADHD: 3 Crucial Things You Should Know

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When  ‘just say no’ to medicine isn’t an option

Medicine for ADHD isn’t an easy choice. Maybe your pediatrician thinks your child is too young. Or your in-laws believe you’re being too soft on your kid.

Whatever the case is, you know what you’re doing isn’t working. Before I homeschooled, I got calls every day to come pick him up from daycare. I pulled him out of daycare after he hit a teacher’s hand with a broom.

The last two weeks before Pre-K ended he was in trouble every day. A month into Kindergarten I withdrew him before he was expelled.

I was frustrated and tried every method known to parent-kind. I had to face a hard fact. He needs medicine that works.

It’s a difficult truth to face about your baby. He’s wonderful and the sight of him makes your heart melt. She’s funny and creative with a mischievous sense of humor.

Medicine for ADHD?
ADHD makes life interesting, doesn’t it?

And then there’s the ADHD

Without question, ADHD makes it difficult to parent. But what about the child? A social situation like school, church, or even the grocery store has minefields full of triggers that can set her off.

After the official diagnosis, we requested medication. Were we scared? You bet.

My daughter was diagnosed in first grade in 2002. Frequent outbursts, lack of focus, and a caring teacher led me to get treatment. I kept it a secret because back then it was a sign of lazy parenting.

Fast forward to 2014 I noticed the same symptoms in my son. I scheduled a second visit with his pediatrician who wasn’t onboard the first time I mentioned my suspicions. Thankfully, he was unavailable but a caring nurse practitioner told me to get him tested after witnessing his ADHD behavior first hand.

No one wants to give a 3-year-old drugs

Even with an official diagnosis, no one wants to prescribe meds to a child that young. I understood that, but when counseling, discipline, and non-drug treatments fail you, what do you do?

It’s time to fight!

And believe me when I tell you, you’re in for a fight.

You’ll fight with insurance companies, doctors, your friends, your in-laws, people at the checkout line at Wal-Mart and maybe your spouse. This battle continues until they’re out of your house and even then it may show up at Thanksgiving.

The point I’m trying to make is children with ADHD become adults with ADHD. The good news is, it’s treatable with proper medication and other factors like diet and exercise. If you want to use medicine to treat your child’s ADHD, here are three things you should know.

  • Insurance

  • Genetic testing

  • Holistic treatment

Insurance companies are notorious for keeping treatment out of the hands of people who pay their salaries. There I said it. I’m talking from a customer and former employee standpoint.

Medicine Insurance
Insurance, the necessary evil

If you don’t believe me, watch Michael Moore’s documentary Sicko.

All critique aside, you must call your insurance company and verify:

If a provider is currently contracted with your insurance (Never ask a doctor if he takes your insurance, phrase your question “Are you currently contracted with __________” Also don’t rely on your insurance company’s website provider list, as many as 50% of the providers listed don’t take the insurance anymore. Also, find out if you need a referral first.

How much your deductible is: Does your deductible increase if you go out of network? If you haven’t met your deductible, how much is your office visit co-pay to see a specialist? I know it sounds old hat, but when I worked as a customer services agent over half of my calls were from people who were P.O.’d when the insurance company didn’t pay a bill because deductibles weren’t met.

Find out which meds they will pay for and if there are any restrictions. For example, my company wouldn’t pay for medicine because he was too young. My son had to use Adderall which made him like a zombie.

Genetic testing

Genetics Medicine
Genetic testing for ADHD can be useful

Do understand a lot has changed since my daughter’s diagnosis in the early 2000s. I discovered genetic testing on one of the group boards on Facebook. I had no idea that you can order a genetic test to discover which medicine works best for your child.

Warning, the tests are expensive, but some insurance companies will pay for it. The most popular two are Genesight and kailosgenetics.com/ADHD.

Genesight tests for ADHD, depression, chronic pain, and Folate deficiency. With insurance, your out of pocket costs may be around $300. If you have Medicaid or Medicare, your cost is $0. They even have options if you’re uninsured.

Kailosgenetics does genetic testing for ADHD and offers other screenings for cancer. They also provide genetic testing for people who want to start a family. The cost of their test is $149 for first-time customers.

Both companies offer the swab test so no needles. A couple of swipes inside your youngster’s cheek and you’re done! Mail the results to the lab and get your results in a few weeks.

I’m trying the Kailos tests because obviously, I want to save money, but I did my research which I advise the same to you.  What I noticed with Kailos is you have to share your results with a Kailos provider depending on which state you live in.

With Genesight, your results are delivered with 36 hours; Kailos takes 10 business days. Both companies make the same promise which is to find the best treatment for your genetic type. Taking the guessing game out of which meds work best is a game changer for you and your child.

Look for my review of Kailos my product review page next month.

Holistic treatment

Essential oils the alternative medicine
Essential oils can be effective

Finally, there is the holistic route. There are hundreds of natural methods to treat ADHD. When I first suspected my son had ADHD at age 2, I tried a natural treatment first.

Synaptol is a natural homeopathic over the counter supplement mostly used to relieve the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder-ADHD. It is a remedy for individual with problems such as inability to listen to instructions, focus, control impulses or pay attention to a given task.

The Synaptol worked great at first, but it started to lose its effect. I believe it’s because of his natural growth. I tried some other methods, but the natural medicines weren’t strong enough to keep up with his chemistry.

Just like any other medicines, what doesn’t work for him may work wonders for another child. Parents swear by essential oils like:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/123849058476813189/

Help ADHD & ADD

I haven’t tried the essential oil on him yet, but I know the scent of lavender calms. I will admit to buying a kyanite and lavender crystal for myself and they both have a calming effect.

There are traditional methods I use to help him. You probably remember these:

  • Playing outside
  • Biking riding
  • Raking leaves
  • Playing classical music
  • Yoga (Okay it’s still new to the Western world, but it’s been around for ages )

The more physical activity he does, the less impulsive he is. Also, did you know lack of sunlight causes Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD?) Sometimes, just getting kids back into nature does the trick. When possible, I try to schedule two recesses a day, one before and after lessons.

Conclusion

All children are undeniably extraordinary, but not equal. My daughter’s ADHD made her super talkative and super fidgety. My son is that times 100, plus he’s aggressive when irritated, has no focus, and no impulse control.

I’m speaking for myself when I say traditional methods don’t work for him.  I remember my mistakes with my daughter’s diagnosis and I’m going to do my best not to do the same with my son.

The medicine won’t fix him, but it will help us to become better people.

Comments?

Comments on ADHD medicine
How do you feel about medicine for ADHD?

What about you? Do you prefer alternative medicines for ADHD? Share your story in the comment section.

 

https://www.natural-health-zone.com/sunlight-therapy.html

 

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Embarrassment to Empowerment: Tools to get through those ADHD moments

Embarrassment happens to us all

Embarrassment tales usually start like this:

You manage to get through lessons without tears. He eats all his breakfast without complaint. She even cleans her room without additional warnings.

Feeling hopeful? Maybe I can run a quick errand or two!

So you whisk your ADHD child to the grocery store. You have your list ready, you sacrificed your smartphone to keep her occupied. You know which aisles trigger tantrums so you avoid them at all costs.

And then the unspeakable happens…

Some Neanderthal sets a display of candy in the pet foods aisle. Your kid spots it and all hell slowly breaks loose and the next thing you know, you’re in a verbal tug of war of why they can’t have the candy. Passerbys give you the look and the next thing you know you’re in the middle of an embarrassing situation.

Parenting a child with ADHD is hard. If trying to find the right meds for your kid or dealing unsympathetic providers doesn’t stress you out, then dealing with meltdowns and unsympathetic looks will make you want to run in a corner and hide.

Perhaps the worst feeling of all is the embarrassment.You feel like a total failure. Failure makes you feel like giving up.

Why me?

I’d be lying to you if I didn’t say dealing with Keith’s ADHD isn’t exhausting. The constant talking, his impulsivity, and lack of focus are why I homeschool. The ADHD makes him disruptive and sometimes downright annoying.

Yes, I said it. My son is annoying.

I do love him with all of my heart and I wouldn’t wish for another child, but I do wish he didn’t have ADHD because it causes a level of embarrassment I can’t gloss over with a “he missed his nap.”

But because he does have ADHD, I have to be his biggest advocate so he can grow up and have an amazing life.

So how do you stop the embarrassment?

Let me be very clear, you CANNOT stop the embarrassment.  Because just when you think you have heard, done, or seen it all, your child will do something to top the last time she embarrassed you.

True story: My husband took my son to get his haircut. My son is hypersensitive to noise, lights, and will shrivel up like a prune if you try to touch his ears. After lots of coaching, I sent him to the shop with his dad.

It wasn’t his first time getting a haircut, but it was his first time at this shop with this barber. His previous barbers were one of those kiddie cut shops. I stopped taking him because if he didn’t get to sit in the Lightning McQueen Car, he wasn’t going to do it.

Everything was going well until the barber tried to shape up around his ears. This was to be expected, but I coached him to become a statue when the barber gets to that area. The clipper nicked his ear and he shouted “G——–.”

Needless to say, the whole shop froze. My husband was embarrassed. I was embarrassed for him but glad I wasn’t there.

My son learned that word at the age of two. His great-grandmother has dementia and said it a few times when we went to Lampassas for Grandpa Happy’s birthday. Obviously, he never forgot that word, and it showed up again at the age of five.

Embarrassed!

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing worse than hearing foul language from a child. And in most cases, it’s totally appropriate to blame the parent, BUT if the child didn’t learn that word from the parent, it’s an unfair judgment.

I know, I know, society doesn’t live in your house, but in that moment, they do and it’s mortifying.

So do I grocery shop after he goes to bed? Learn how to cut his hair? Tape his mouth shut?

Grocery shop at night? Sometimes. Get his hair cut when he starts to look like Cousin It from the Addams Family? Yes. And no to taping his mouth shut, though his dad fantasizes about it.

Before frustration sets in, here is a handy acronym to help you get through those tough moments when you want the earth to swallow you whole.

P.R.E.P.

Practice makes an improvement. In The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child, Dr. Kazdin recommends prompting your child before the situation occurs. Prompting is an effective parenting tool that you’ve been using all along.

Think about it. When someone gives your child a gift, you prompt your child to say thank you. Use the same method but tweak it to your situation.

Think it doesn’t work? Think back to your childhood. Remember the “we’re going to the store and we’re only getting these items, don’t ask for any toys speech and I mean it.”

Raise your hand if your mom gave you the “I dare you” stare to drive her point home.

Recognize your child’s triggers.  If the bright lights, noisy machines, and the bustle of traffic aren’t distracting enough, then they came up with the brilliant idea to put random toy displays all over the place.

Toys are most children’s trigger, but ADHD takes it to a whole other level. In case of selective amnesia, there are a couple of products I recommend to keep your child busy while you shop.

Noise Reduction Headphones by Function and Function reduce noise levels by 20 decibels. Although these headphones can’t be used for music, they help your child function in a noisy environment. Less noise means less distraction.

Regulation Putty helps your child express their feeling and increase motor skills. The putty is filled with a facial mood that expresses a range of emotions. When your child is feeling anxious, she can squeeze the putty to help find the most appropriate feeling.

Exit immediately if things start to escalate. You may have to go to another aisle to calm your child or you may have to leave the store. It’s doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, it means you made the best choice for you and your child.

Embarrassed? Exit
Exit stage left

The truth is, you know your limitations. Ever wonder why some parents pretend to go deaf when a kid is screaming their head off? Because some of them are experts at calling their child’s bluff and won’t give them the satisfaction of giving in.

How do you tell the difference between those parents and the other ones who appear deaf, those parents don’t look defeated. And they do not apologize.

Pick your battles. Finally, we have to learn when to stand our ground and when to let it go. Some days you win, some days the ADHD wins.

There isn’t any shame in losing, the shame comes when you give up.

Raising a child with ADHD means embarrassment, frustration, and sometimes anger.  It also means you get up every day and do your best, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward. I’m rooting for you!

Comments?

What about you? Has your child’s behavior embarrassed you? What did you do? I’d love to hear about it. Please share it in the comment section near the top right hand corner.

 

Helpful Links

 

https://www.everydayhealth.com/add-adhd/8-steps-to-stop-your-child-from-having-an-adhd-meltdown.aspx

https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/understanding-childs-challenges/talking-with-your-child/5-things-not-to-say-to-your-child-about-adhd?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=understoodorg#slide-5

How to Discipline Kids: 9 Behavior Management Techniques for Parents

 

Bonnie@adhdhomeschooled.com

Facebook.com/adhdhomeschooled

Pinterest.com/blogginTXmama

Twitter.com/workathomelady

 

Cash In on these Side Hustles and Homeschool Your Kids

Earn cash in the comfort of your home

The last post, I quit my job at an insurance company. My husband wasn’t too happy because that meant the cash train was coming to a halt.

Later that night we had a come to Jesus meeting. I wasn’t happy, our son’s needs weren’t being met, and this wasn’t our first conversation about me ditching the hamster wheel.

I toyed with the idea of finding another work at home job. Friends reached to me with other job opportunities assuring me XYZ company was better. I’m not against working for someone else, but when you’ve been burned once too many times, maybe you should try something different.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results-Albert Einstein

The definiation of
Extra=money+cash2

The next reasonable thing for me to do was to jump in and start my own business, doing something I love, and making my own rules.

Easier said than done right?

Running a business takes discipline and a thick skin.  I have the discipline part, but I admit my skin is transparent. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I care too much about what others think.

Until recently…

I know if this is going to work I must shed that puny layer of skin and boss up. This means setting goals, reaching them, creating new goals and repeat. Perfection isn’t required, but persistence is key.

In the meanwhile, bills need to be paid!

 

Earning extra money shouldn't be this hard
More money, more problems?

Money is right up there with oxygen, you can’t live without it. As a matter of fact, I just paused my writing to pay our rent. If cash is a big concern for you right now, but you want to be close to your children, there is good news.

You can have both!

No really, you can.

I’m not going to show you how to make a million dollars in 90 days or sell you a pipe dream, but I will tell you is you can stay close to the things that matter the most which are your family and your well being. And earn some money on the side without leaving the house every day.

No, it’s not that easy, but yes it’s worth the effort you put into planting the seed of independence.

If you homeschooler but need some extra money to help with the bills, consider these options:

  • Affiliate Marketing

  • Blogging

  • Ebooks

  • Odd Jobs

  • Direct Sales

Affiliate Marketing

Social media equals dollars
The Internet makes it easier to start a business from home

You’re probably being bombarded with this one. If you think the only marketing worth dealing with is your local grocers, think again. Affiliate marketing is a great way to make passive income without bothering your family and friends.

The good news is now you don’t need a blog to become an affiliate marketer. Start-up costs are minimum at best, but I strongly advise you enroll in a great course on affiliate marketing which may or may not involve a cost. Also, it helps if you have a Pinterest account because Pinterest works just like Google.

 How to Make Your First Affiliate Sale in 24 Hours 

Elise McDowell

Here’s a great course I found for free and check out my Product Reviews and Other Good News page for other affiliates.

Blogging

Wordpress
Blogs are essential for growth and moolah

Okay, I know what I just said you don’t need a blog to make money, but it doesn’t hurt to have one either. Real talk, Marc Guberti started his first blog about being a Boston Red Sox fan living in New York City when he was 11 years old. The now 20-year-old has his podcast and other businesses.

Another mind blower,–Facebook and Twitter were noobs when he started.  Talk about getting in on the social media ground floor!

In the age of the Internet, great content builds great audiences.  The more people who see your work, the better chances you have of monetizing your blog. Affiliate marketing and blogging are a great combo for earning cash.

Again, not an easy task, but totally doable. When I was ready to work for myself, I scoured the web and found Write Your Way to $1,000K to help me get started.

Ebooks

Ebook
Ebooks rock!

But Bonnie, I’m not a writer. Yes, you are. You don’t have to be Hemingway or Shakespeare to make money.

What you need is a basic understanding of sentences, subject/verb agreement and other stuff you learned in elementary school. It also helps to understand things like SEO. By the way, if you don’t know what that is, Google, or use one of these courses.

Write, Publish, and Market your Ebook in 4 Weeks by Ling Wong

Ebooks are insanely popular. You cut out the middleman because instead of hunting for an overworked publisher or editor to believe in you, you can go straight to Amazon and self-publish.

Oh and that thing I said you didn’t need earlier the blog? Again, not necessary but it can help your cause. If you already have a captive audience, your ebook will be easier to sell.

Odd Jobs

Side hustle
Happy dog, happy owner

Okay, so you hate writing, blogging isn’t your cup of tea, and affiliate marketing, uh no. When all else fails, you can always depend on the laziness of others. Yes, my friends, I’m talking odd jobs.

Dog walking services like Rover is a thing now! Not only do you get great exercise, you can make some quick cash.  Does your family still rave about the awesome logos for the family reunion T-shirts? Create a graphic design account at Fiverr for clueless folks like me who can’t make eye-catching art!

The point is someone needs your organizational, eye for detail, and even your hugs. I’m not kidding I met a professional hugger. A professional hugger can make up to $60 bucks an hour!

You don’t need a blog for this one, but a website is handy.

Direct Sales

Kandi Burrus
Kandi Burrus of Xscape and Real Housewives of Atlanta, business mogul

I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up old school methods that earn great cash. Avon, Pampered Chef, even ahem, lingerie from former Xscape member and reality star Kandi Burruss’ Bedroom Kandi.

Yes, you may have to bother a few friends at first, but who doesn’t love a good party. A few appetizers, good music, and a time-tested product, and you’re in. They’re a lot of family-friendly products on the market to sell, some of them require inventory and some ship direct to the customer.

Most importantly, do your research before you get into any direct sales.

Final thoughts

Brain
Use both sides of your brain to earn extra dough

In conclusion, there isn’t a more noble goal than being there for your loved ones. Things move at the speed of light, and before you know it, it’s your baby’s graduation or your partner’s retirement. I want to help you live your best life, doing what you love while you homeschool.

Money should never be your guide, but a tool for things like that summer road trip to take your kids to the Grand Canyon up close and personal. You can’t put a price on the light in a child’s eyes.

Comments?

What about you? Do you know any good ways to make money without interrupting your child’s homeschooling? Leave a comment below.

[contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]

Bonnie Harris Price

Facebook.com/adhdhomeschooled

Twitter.com/workathomelady

bonnie@adhdhomeschooled.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn to Make A Tough Decision without Guilt

What to do when you’re forced to make a tough decision

I made a tough decision this week. I quit my job after management left me no choice.

My son Keith is six years old. He was diagnosed with ADHD at age 3. He’s been kicked out of two daycare center for his behavior and I withdrew him from school after he was hastily charged with bullying another student.

In late 2017, I made the decision to reduce my hours to spend more time with him. I also made the decision to sell my house so my family could downgrade thus reducing living expenses. Much to our surprise the house sold quickly and we had to pack up 10 years in a matter of days, find a new place to live, and oh did I mention my daughter was getting married too this past December?

We made it through those challenges with our sanity intact. As we transitioned from a home to an apartment with noisy neighbors and limited parking, I prepared for my next challenge to return to the office.

From WAHM to Unemployed Mom

It's a tough decision to give up the benefits of unemployment
Leaving my job was a tough decision

Company policy states when aWork At Home employee moves, they must return to the office until an appointment is scheduled to add an Internet business line. This normally takes about 1-2 weeks. As soon as I found an apartment, I submitted my information to my supervisor to help move things along.

The first week at the office wasn’t bad. My husband took some time off and was able to keep our son while I worked. The second week presented a challenge because my husband returned to work. I had to rely on my newlywed daughter to help.

My daughter works the night shift and has a one-year-old daughter. Oh, did I mention she’s a high-risk pregnancy? I had to hire a sitter to fill in the gaps.

I was blessed with another homeschool Mom Jonetta Grant who charged me a reasonable rate to babysit my son. Since I didn’t budget for this and I work fewer hours I knew this is something I couldn’t continue to do for a long period of time.

I asked my supervisor daily how much longer I had to work at the office. The money I spent on babysitting, gas and other things that come with working away from home was going to be a burden soon. Plus, I was too tired to work on my blog and building my business.

I was told it could take 4-6 weeks. That means I would have been stuck in the office until the end of February.

Are you kidding me?

It was tough for me to keep my cool
Really?

I knew it didn’t take that long to return home because I’m smarter than the average bear. Even though this company prides itself on work/life balance and promoting stellar employees; their actions said otherwise. I know the difference between pee and rain.

When I saw that email that said I could return home February 26th I became livid. I chose to leave. I cried all the way home.

Handling Tough Decisions

Quitting a job is never an easy decision. Let me be clear, my husband and I are working class people. He’s logical, I’m more of a free spirit, a persona I’ve been fighting all my life because it doesn’t have a good track record of paying the bills.

But what am I teaching my son, daughter, and granddaughter about trusting in themselves?

I’ve worked since I was 14. I follow the rules and I find myself at the mercy of people who don’t give a rat’s rear end about my feelings, my family, and even my health. All they care about is what I can do for them at that moment.

If you have a job that doesn’t respect you, people (doctors included) who don’t take your child’s diagnosis or treatment seriously, or people who live to silence your voice here are some suggestions:

How to make Tough Decisions

  • Fight or flight
  • Trust your Instinct
  • Stick with it

Fight or flight

Tough decisions fight or flight
Fight or flight?

I researched a lot of articles about making tough decisions. For some reason, all of them had to do with food so here’s my take on it.

Being a working parent means a constant struggle of juggling priorities. Yet when facing a tough decision that may affect your family’s well being, it comes down to fight or flight. In my situation, fighting with them wasn’t going to help me do what I needed to do.

Fleeing a situation that was going to do my family more harm than good was the best decision for me. Plus having a sitter was making me a lazy parent. I’d also lost momentum with my blogging and other business ventures.

Trust your instincts

A tough decision sometimes require a quick action
Be ready to pounce

When all else fails, you should go with your instinct. Granted some folks may think I went on emotion, and while some of it may be true. I’ve been preparing for escaping the hamster wheel for a while now.

This isn’t my first blog, but this is the first time I took steps to monetize it. I’d put in time, money, and research into homeschooling and helping my son with his ADHD. I’m a professional and I believe in giving two weeks notice, but this was a situation that put people on notice that my family’s well being is nothing to play with.

Stick with your decision

Stick with your tough decision
What he said

I could throw all types of slogans at you, but I won’t waste your time. When you’ve made a tough decision, stick with it. There is one phrase that comes to mind, you can choose comfort or you can choose courage, but you can’t choose both.”

My supervisor called and left a message I ignored. I didn’t want to hear about her disappointment or an explanation how she could’ve done things better.

All I know is I’m going to stick to my guns this time and make it work for me and the people I care about.

Conclusion

In conclusion, if I gave the impression that it’s all about me, it isn’t. This is about a 6-year-old boy with an unfair label as a bully and a mother who turns her life upside down regularly to give him what he needs. This about a granddaughter who follows her Gigi everywhere and loves to hands out kisses like chocolate.

This is about a husband who knows his wife is much more than a call center agent.

This is about a chubby little nine-year-old girl with crooked teeth who fails more than she tries but is still stands so she can try again.

What about you?

Are you facing a tough decision? A job you hate? The decision to medicate or not to medicate? To homeschool or not? Do you feel guilty? I’d love to hear your stories, please comment below.

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bonnie@adhdhomeschooled.com

BlogginTXmama Pinterest

Twitter.com/workathomelady

Facebook.com/adhdhomeschooled

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Spanking doesn’t work for ADHD kids, do this instead!

For parents who know spanking doesn’t work

Spanking was a common form of discipline used by many parents. If you’re a part of the baby boomer or Generation X clan, chances are your backside saw an adult’s hand, belt, or paddle. No one then and even now saw it as child abuse.

But times have changed.

Still spanking your kids?
Spanking is just as outdated as black and white TV

Perhaps you heard about the 13 children who were malnourished and abused by their caregiver. Or read the story about the San Antonio woman who chained her children to the backyard while she went to Vegas. Maybe you’re a Generation X or Millennial Mom who suffered from abuse.

Even in my house, we find ourselves at odds on how to handle our six-year-old with ADHD. Parenting him is a challenge. My husband and I agree to disagree on a lot of things to help him but one thing we do agree on is spanking.

 

Spanking doesn’t work

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to debate or criticize you if you spank your kids. I’m just saying it doesn’t work for us. I’m also not saying that we don’t spank him either.

I’m saying we’re at a point where we use it less and less because it’s ineffective and leaves us feeling like failures. 

I turned out just fine

Does spanking help
Spanking helped me become this

Yes, my mom spanked me and I’m not damaged either. However, my father never spanked me. You could argue that I was a daddy’s girl and I got away with murder, but I say differently.

I adored my father. He died when I was nine. The one time I thought he was going to spank me almost made me have a nervous breakdown. 

My parents divorced by the time I was five. I spent summer vacations with my dad in Mississippi. When I was 9, I came home after dark after running all over Sardis, a little town in with a population less than 1,000, with the neighborhood kids.

Back then we told time by the sun. Say it with me 70s babies, be back before the sun goes down. Or be in the house when the street lights come on. Either way, I missed both.

Knowing I couldn’t lie my way out of it, I went and stood in front of my dad, bracing myself for those dreaded words “Go get me a switch.”

Much to my surprise, he said nothing. I, on the other hand, was sweating in my Underoos. That day I learned something important: what he was thinking was way more important than what I thought he was going to do to me for being late.

That’s straight gangsta!

Of all the things we wish our parents could leave us when they’re gone, their generation had something money can’t buy. They had a “way” about work, life, and parenting. Cooler than Kenny Rogers, they knew when to hold them and knew when to fold them, when to walk away, and when to run.

As my son gets older, I know one day he will be taller and stronger. He’s already faster. I don’t like my parenting style and I’m reading, studying, and researching different methods.

 

Spanking doesn't make strong families
Create a spank free environment

One day he’s going to grow up. I want him to use his mind to self-regulate, respect others’ boundaries and learn how to create his own. I want to set him up for success.

I know you desire the same and that’s why I want to share this journey with you. I read some great books and tools I’m using to be a better parent. If you’re frustrated with your son or daughter who has ADHD, ODD, and other behavior disabilities, maybe these tools will help you.

Tools You Can Use instead of Spanking

  • Don’t hit
  • Choose a corner
  • Accept this is who they are
  • Be your child’s biggest cheerleader
  • Patience is a virtue
  • Dump the guilt
  • Create a game plan
  • Love hard and often

Don’t hit

I know the first thing you may want to do is swat them on the behind, but I want you to be a better parent. Remember kids pay a lot more attention to what you do that what you say. If you have to, fold your arms until the feeling passes; I’d rather have you look judgemental than to stand in front of a judge explaining bruises is a fit of anger.

Choose a corner

Until you’re calm, you and your child need to separate. The Latin term is no moleste which means don’t bother each other. Send him/her to their rooms and you go to yours. It could be your balcony, your closet, or the garage, but you both need a time out before you discuss the issue.

Accept your child for who he is

I know easier said than done. Especially when everyone’s else kid is fine. The truth the more you hide or deny that this is a lifelong journey,  you’ll never accept his ADHD as part of his DNA. With the right guidance, possibly medication, and positive outlets for her astounding energy, your child can thrive.

Be your child’s biggest cheerleader

Someone once said the difference between love and infatuation is when you’re still there after the honeymoon phase is over. Remember when your baby smeared poop all over the wall? Were you angry? Yes. Did you sell him on the black market? No; that’s still your baby, this isn’t any different, just poop in a different diaper.

Patience is a virtue

Get into zen before spanking
Patience before spanking

Two words. Exercise patience. That is all.

Dump the guilt

Don’t ever feel bad because things aren’t’ perfect or if you lost your cool when you got to the car. You’re human. Forgive yourself.

Create a game plan

You can’t plan for every outburst, but you can reduce the number of meltdowns. I found this handy chart on the Autism website. I’m discovering a lot tools on that website can be used for kids with ADHD too and they work well.

Love Hard and Often

No one is going to love your kids more than you. Above everything else, they must know you love them no matter what. Toni Morrison, the acclaimed author of The Bluest Eye, once said in an interview on Oprah, when your children enter the room, ditch the critical eye. 

Your eyes must light up like a Christmas tree when you see them. Remember they have natural BS detectors (my words not Toni’s.) They know when you’re being judgy. 

Conclusion

 

Finally, I highly recommend these books that helped me navigate this ADHD homeschool journey I take with my son. I know it wouldn’t be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.

 

What about you? Do you have any advice for frustrated parents? Perhaps you have a Jedi mind trick to get your child to behave. Please comment and share this post. I’d love to hear it.

 

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/you-love-someone-who-has-adhd-dont-these-20-things.html

http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2016/02/teach-frustration-tolerance-kids/

Behavior Plan Flowcharts & Tools

Bonnie@adhdhomeschooled.com

blogginTXmama @ Pinterest

workathomelady@ Twitter

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Go CRUSH your Homeschool Game Plan this Year!

Game Plan On!

Now that the holidays are over and a new year is here, it’s time to review your game plan. Weight loss or perhaps starting a business may be on the top your list. Then there’s the biggest decision glaring at you.

You’re going to start homeschooling this year.

By the way, good for you!. I know the decision wasn’t easy, but when we decide to put our family first, we are setting our children up for life-long learning. 

Before you choose a curriculum, buy yourself a dry erase board, or join a co-op, there are some things you have to do to prepare for this journey. Like players before the big game, you have to get in the zone. I’m not talking about pumping yourself up to teach; I’m talking about a game plan to set you and your kiddos up for success!

 

The Game Plan

 

  • Forget what everyone else thinks
  • Mom’s lesson plan
  • Kids’ lesson plan
  • How to make it work for you
  • Don’t compare yourself to other moms

Forget what everyone else thinks

To people who don't support your decision
If you’re not with me….

First of all, if you forget everything else written here, always come back to this one. I can’t express this sentiment enough. Other people’s opinions will kill any if not all hope of moving forward.

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, but please don’t give anyone else the right to decide if it’s for you. If you need a little push check out my FREE ebook. I included a couple of pages for you to write down your why. When things get hard and they will trust me, go back to your why.

Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s

Apples and oranges
Apples and oranges

Over the holidays, I met with a Facebook group of homeschoolers in my area. Long story short, I was late getting there because I was caught on a long phone call. Then traffic was a nightmare and I’m not the world’s most patient mom when I’m fighting traffic with a cranky six-year-old in the back seat.

When I got to the woman’s home the first thing that caught my eye was her organizational chart. It was color coded and planned out for the month. Needless to say, I felt a like an amateur.

You know why I felt that way? Because I am an amateur. She’s been at this for years and I just started 3 months ago!

I was also in the middle of selling our house, finding an apartment, and getting my 21-year-old down the aisle by December 31st. The point is your journey is going to be different so before you start to doubt your abilities, give yourself permission to learn, fail, and succeed, repeat, in that order!

Mom and Dad’s Game Plan

Take Notes
Every important game starts with a plan

Now it’s time for action. Planning is an essential part of homeschooling. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Once upon a time, you could turn the TV on PBS and children were able to learn numbers, colors, and letters. Today’s TV has thousands of choices and not all of them good. Don’t get me started on the Internet.

The good news is that these are still good resources if you’re starting out. There are free and low-cost curriculums. There are awesome Facebook groups who offer phenomenal support to new homeschoolers.

With that being said, you want to take a look at your current schedule to see where you can get learning in. Unlike public school, you don’t have to drag your children through eight hours of learning. Depending on their grade level, you can teach them what they need to know in half the time.

Here are some great resources I used when I started out. Check ’em out!

 

Your Child’s Game Plan

Read
Look at her read!

Where does your child excel? Where does she struggle? Do they love or hate to read?

Create your child’s lesson plan around their needs. Public school is all about testing which is why lots of children get pushed through without grasping the important content. Teachers have to pass a certain number of students to hold on to their jobs.

It’s a vicious cycle of education that caused me to pull my son out before they had a chance to ruin him. His ADHD causes a lot of problems, but I believe it’s going to be his greatest asset. I created a schedule that has more physical activity and less rigor.

Keith retains more information even when we take a break, he’s able to remember and focus on new things. We are constantly amazed by his observations and what he says.

How to Make It Work for You

Get er done
You got this!

Finally, create a system that works for you. Your schedule may not look like mine. You may want more Bible-based teaching where I want to explore another spiritual avenue.

My point is to do what works for you. You can’t move forward while standing still. If your heart is calling you to homeschool your kids, then do it!

They’re growing up fast in a world that has more negative influence than good. I’m not saying keep them in a bubble, but give them the real tools they need to survive and thrive in the world. Teach them things that a standardized test can’t.

Comments

How about you? What did you include in your homeschooling game plan? Share in the comment section.

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Dump Boring Holiday Traditions! Try These New Ones Instead

Traditions your homeschoolers will love

Here’s how people over 40 talk about traditions. Where has the year gone and can you believe Christmas will be here Monday?  Where did the time go?

 

And I’m officially OLD.

 

All jokes aside, it’s most wonderful time of the year, sorry I couldn’t resist.  There’s a certain magic in my son’s eyes when he talks about Santa and decorating the tree. I get to relive my childhood through his eyes as he discovers classics like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original though I really love Ron Howard’s interpretation.)

 

 Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas TV Version

 

Some traditions call for baking cookies, opening presents on Christmas Eve, or visiting relatives both far and near. Dang, it I’m doing it again! Can’t you tell I do love Christmas?

 

Yet times have changed. We can Skype our family members cutting down the ‘are we there yet’ in long distance driving. We’ve replaced Nana’s recipes with gluten-free cookies and passed on the red dye number 40 saturating my favorite Red Velvet Cake.

 

At the risk of sounding like the Grinch, how Christmas-y can it be when the sales start right after Labor Day?

 

I digress.

 

The wonderful thing about traditions is the ability to evolve. Honestly, who says love, honor, and OBEY anymore? If we can change that outdated mantra, we can introduce new holiday traditions that your homeschoolers will want to pass on to theirs.

 

Ugly Sweater Day

Dude, the glasses don’t help your situation

 

This one isn’t really new, but how many families do this on Christmas day? Instead of letting the kids mess up their new clothes before they have a chance to show them off, go to a thrift store, buy some sweaters, get out the craft box and let them make the ugliest sweater they can.  Wear them on Christmas day and let all your Facebook family and friends get a good laugh.

 

Here’s a link I found on how to make an ugly sweater.  If you really want to have fun, then get your friends involved. Post them on social media and have a contest. The winner gets bragging rights for the year.

 

Christmas with Compassion

 

Compassion, the first step to healing

 

Nursing and shelter homes are opened year round. Do yourself and your waistline a solid and take some of those home-baked goods to the staff who have to work the holidays. You can share with the elderly too but call first to find out if there are any restrictions.

 

Here’s another thought and it may not be too late. Call the nursing home and ask if there are residents who don’t receive holiday visitors. Last minute stocking stuffers like blankets, lotions, costume jewelry, and scrapbooks are easy to find in any discount store.

 

For next year, consider Adopt  A Senior programs in your community. After all, this is the season of giving.

 

Jeopardy, the Christmas Edition

 

Let the reindeer games begin

Supplies

 

cardboard box

  • Box cutter
  • packing tape (optional)
  • Post it notes
  • index cards or something to write your questions on
  • pad and pencil to keep score

 

Other things: Glitter, glue, paint, markers, and anything else to make your board super!

 

This one you can make at home. Hint: it’s also a great learning tool. All you need is at least two players and someone to ask the monitor the board.

 

You have enough time to make this game before Christmas especially if you involve the kids.

 

First, use the box cutter to open a cardboard to a rectangular or square shape. Next tape down any gaps with packing tape. Then let the children decorate the board Christmas style the night before just make sure to leave enough space to add columns. 

 

If you’re pressed for time, you can limit the number columns.Remember this doesn’t have to be fancy or perfect. Make it fun and hide bonus questions!

 

Cut out squares made from construction paper or to speed it up you can use post-it note so under each note, you can add numbers for points.

 

Next, write your Christmas questions using the index cards. They can be about anything Christmas related, biblical or not, it’s up to you.

 

Winner gets to open one present on Christmas eve or gets to do something you would normally wait to do on Christmas day! If you have a big family, you can divide the group into two teams and make the losing team sing a Christmas carol to your neighbors.

 

There you have it! Christmas comes once a year. As homeschoolers, let teach our kids it’s about more than an extended holiday and getting expensive gifts. Let’s show them how to create memorable moments.

 

Comments

 

How about you? Do you have some non-traditional ideas you’d like to share? I’d love to read them and share them on my Facebook page.

 

Have a safe holiday season!

 

bonnie@adhdhomeschooled.com

Pinterest. com/blogginTXmama

Facebook.com/adhdhomeschooled

StumbleUpon@adhdhomeschooled

 

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The Beautiful People We Admire Have ADHD

Celebirities with ADHD
I wonder where Jim Carrey shops for his fidget spinner…

Celebrities with ADHD, wait, WHAT?

ADHD are four letters that add up to big problems. Lack of focus, hyperactivity, and plenty of frustration affect everyone. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a big topic of debate in schools and at dinner tables.

If you were anything like me in the early 2000s, I was on the side of the fence that didn’t believe in it. I thought children were just being bad and parents were being wimps. Yes, I know, ouch.

When my daughter was diagnosed I got a taste of my own medicine. My “friends”  snubbed their noses and didn’t believe me.  Thank God my juvenile justice system colleagues were supportive.

ADHD is a hard road to travel alone

It takes a village of family, friends, prayer, diet, sometimes meds and counseling to get through the journey. Until a few weeks ago, I thought I was all alone on this journey.

The last counselor told me that kids with ADHD go on to do big things. I didn’t believe it at the time because my son was kicked out of his second daycare. I found myself pouting and wanting an easier road.

Celebs with ADHD
ADHD can be lonely too

Do you feel this way too?

Raising children isn’t an easy task anyway, but raising a child with learning disabilities is a whale of a challenge. If your child is in public school, there may be resources available, but a homeschool parent is left to their own devices. It’s a never-ending battle between your child’s behavior, insurance companies, and doctors who think they know your child better than you.

What his last therapist said didn’t hit me until a few days ago. I was doing some research on my last blog when I ran across a link regarding celebrities with ADHD. I have to tell the truth when I say some people are more obvious than others, achoo! Jim Carrey, I mean bless you.

There are some big names out there who have done well despite unfair labels like troublemaker, lazy, and never going to amount to anything.  The list was long but I managed to narrow it down to a few of my favorite people I love to see in film, sports, TV, music, and business.

  

Justin Timberlake

I’ll let you whip me if…

So what can I say about my boy Justin? He sings, dances, acts and used to date, Cameron Diaz. I’m sorry, I’m an older chick so I’m team Cameron, not Jessica Biel.

Back to reality Bonnie, before he won Grammys, acted, and made my then teen-aged daughter swoon, he was diagnosed with ADHD.

 Justin is from my hometown of Memphis. This one came as a shock, I just thought he was a prankster.  I thought he liked to be goofy so people wouldn’t remember he was in the Mickey Mouse club once up a time.

 

Jamie Oliver

Spaghetti anyone?

 

You have to love a man who can cook and trying to save children from obesity and tooth loss one bite at a time.

 As a child, celebrity chef Jamie was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. In a 2015 interview with DailyMail UK, Jamie says he was pulled out of classes to go to special need sessions. Jamie says changing his diet helped his ADHD and encourages parents to eliminate foods that may trigger ADHD symptoms.

 

Will Smith

 

And you thought he was naturally funny, it’s the ADHD

All hail the Fresh Prince! Hollywood’s billion dollar man has ADHD!  His class clown antics were a disguise for his shortcomings, but with hard work, he made Oscar nominations out of those lemons.

If you watch reruns of the Fresh Prince, you can see Will’s mouth moving while other actors are saying their lines. If you notice your kiddo’s lips moving while you’re teaching, this may be a coping mechanism or a tool to retain information.

 

Michael Phelps

It was the “H” that helped him score 4 medals

Despite losing a race to a computer generated shark, this gold medal phenom is still a winner in my book.  Michael’s ADHD was discovered at age 9.  His mom, the charming Debbie Phelps, shared her experience with Everyday Health.

Debbie’s story resonates with a lot of mothers. Michael’s pre-K years resembles my son’s. Keith’s inability to stay on task,  incessant talking and fidgeting drove his teachers, classmates, and us up a wall.

 The good news is Keith loves to swim.  Olympics 2028 here we come!

 

Howie Mandel

 

Did you touch my hand sanitizer?

 

The actor, comedian, and host, brought many television and movie audiences laughter over the years. When’s he’s not hosting America’s Got Talent, he’s avoiding germs like the plague.

 

Howie has a little OCD going on in terms of his germophobia. He doesn’t shake hands with the contestants and you may see him constantly reach in his pocket. No worries, he’s just making sure his hand sanitizer is within reach.

 

Michelle Rodriguez

 

Fast and Fabulous

Before she was fast and furious, Michelle struggled in school like most kids yet that didn’t keep her from scoring a role on one of TV’s favorite drama Lost.

 

Michelle plays a lot of tough characters in her films. I’m no movie critic, but my guess is she draws upon her experience with ADHD. Michelle explained in 2016 interview that she didn’t want to take medication even though it may have affect career as a future director and writer.

 

Solange Knowles

 

 

Come sit at my table

 

Yes, she’s Beyonce’s sister, but make no mistake about it, she’s a star. Before she made elevators interesting again, Solange was a backup singer and songwriter to her sister’s Grammy-winning group Destiny’s Child. Solange made her acting debut in the Johnson’s Family Vacation.

 

Despite the rumors of being a hothead (cheat on my sister and I’ll dot your eye too), she’s a lyrical genius. Solange won her first Grammy last year for her groundbreaking CD A Seat at the Table

 

Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopeeee!!!!!!

Academy Award, Grammy, Emmy, and Tony-winning actress (Ghost), comedian (HBO, etc), host (The View) philanthropist, singer (Sister Act) wearer of dreads and tells you what’s on her mind in a heartbeat, Whoopi Goldberg, formerly known as Caryn Johnson has ADHD and dyslexia.

Whoopi was referred to as dumb or retarded by her peers but her mother, her strongest advocate, told her to pay those jerks no mind. Whoopi credits her ADHD and dyslexia for giving her the courage to think differently.  So there.

 

Emma Watson

 

This disease has a name

 

 

Before she gave the boys a run for their money at Hogwarts and tamed the monster in the enchanting live-action story Beauty and the Beast, Emma was diagnosed with ADHD in her childhood.

Emma’s one smart enchilada too. She has a degree in English from Brown and is a United Nations Women’s Ambassador.

 

Eva Longoria

 

Tony Parker who?

This Corpus Christi, Texan, native, and former Desperate Housewife Gabby Solis made us shout Hallejenuah on Sunday nights with her cutthroat one-liners. My favorite Gabby line, “don’t high jack a Ferrari, if you don’t know how to drive” has ADHD.

Eva disclosed this information after DH series created an episode about a character’s addiction to Ritalin. Eva takes Ritalin to control her ADHD.  Adult ADHD was brought to the limelight only about ten years ago.

 

 

 

 

So there you have it. This is only the tip of the iceberg. I can probably fill my next two blogs about celebrities who have this disease. There were many other names I could’ve included like the sexy Ryan Gosling, beloved Robin Williams and Joan Rivers, RIP.

 

Yes, Harvard dropout, multi-billionaire Bill Gates has it too.

 

Pardon me, have you seen my bank account?

 

 

 

 

 

 

And if my list didn’t make it plainer, let me sa it loud and clear.ADHD doesn’t mean your child can’t succeed. He or she won’t spend their lives wandering aimlessly from job to job either. With patience, guidance, and understanding, they can make someone’s top 10 list too. LOL

 

Comments?

 

Can you think of any other celebrities? Do you suspect a famous person has it? I’d love to read your guesses and find so please share below.

 

bonnie@ADHDhomeschooled.com

Workathomelady@Twitter

blogginTXmama@ Pinterest

ADHDhomeschooled @Facebook

ADHDhomechooled@Stumbleupon

Good Reads!

http://www.parenting.com/gallery/famous-people

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3214920/More-kids-Jamie-Er-think-need-vasectomy-Look-away-Jools-Mr-Oliver-just-given-candid-interview.html

 https://www.everydayhealth.com/debbie-phelps/

 

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Don’t You Dare Homeschool Your Kids by Yourself!

How to get your partner to help homeschool

Let me start off by saying my husband is really proud of our son’s progress since we decided to homeschool. Hubby’s chest puffs up when his son recognizes words and states facts you wouldn’t hear from most six-year-olds.

I want to slap my husband.

Now before you think I’m going to pull drive-by spousal assault, I’m not going to hit my hubby. Have I thought about it? Yes, but hasn’t anyone who’s been married for more than a minute?

I’m the teacher, baker, and candlestick maker. I establish Keith’s routines and chores throughout the day. I’m the one that fights with our boy when he wants to be silly and grinds her teeth when he misses something I think he should know.

I knew that

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and I can empty the garbage better than he can.

Sorry, not sorry. Okay, okay, I’m sorry.

Like a lot of you, I know I handle way too much and I do it because I feel my way is the best way to do it. There I said it. I know it makes me come off like a control freak, but most ladies out there will agree with me that moms have a certain way of making the impossible, incredible.

I’m going to trademark that.

But guess what homeschool divas and dudes? (I know they’re some guys out there rocking it too), it’s lonely at the top. Homeschooling, much like parenting, isn’t a job for the faint-hearted.

Homeschooling also isn’t meant to be done alone. Like the African proverb says, it takes a village to raise a child. Moms and Dads, even if one partner works full-time, the work should be done together.

However…

97 percent of married couples in the U.S. homeschool their children. In most cases, one parent works while the other stays home. The breadwinner seems to get a pass in homeschooling.

Is this fair?

My situation is a little unique. For now, I work from home full-time. My son is young so I don’t need more than an hour with him.  My husband works full-time too, and thankfully, close to home.

He doesn’t look TOO busy to help

 

I do 99.999999 percent of the teaching. I’ve asked for help, mostly if he can laminate the tracings I use to help Keith write his name. I also ask if he can go over sight words with our son.

My husband makes dinner for my son because I log off the computer in the late evening. He also gives him a bath and makes sure he brushes his teeth. I know that’s more help than some women get, but I want our son to feel that both his parents have his back when it comes to his learning.

 

Reading, ‘Riting, etc

I’m all for girl power, but some things require a man’s touch. In 2010, less than 20 percent teachers in the U.S. were male. If we’re fortunate enough to have a caring man in the home or a part of our lives, how can we usher them into this experience without nagging them about it?

I wracked my brain and scoured the Internet to find some creative ways to include my husband in homeschooling. I came up with some ideas to help you and me get our significant others more involved.

  • Forgive

  • Praise

  • Support

  • Let Go

 

Forgive

This is one I didn’t expect to find but it makes total sense. You can’t ask your mate to help more with homeschooling until you forgive. If you’re stewing over the fact, your SO walked right past you while you’re struggling to keep junior’s attention, you’re not ready to ask for help.

Forgiving your SO is important

Another good reason you need to forgive is resentment clouds your thoughts. Thoughts become words and words become heated if you begin with you never (fill in the blank.)

Praise

I know it sounds super simple, but granny was right when she said you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Our honey is just like our kids;  they love to hear how well they did. The more you praise your sweetie, the more they want to do for you.

Support

Women are born nurturers while men are born clueless. Sorry had to tell it like it is. I know a lot of us have been carrying the load for a long time, but early in the game, they may need us to guide them.

Everyone needs guidance

Once your kids feel comfortable with the other parent teaching, take a breath or a break! Don’t be a helicopter and hover. Trust me when I say your kids will let you know if your love muffin is messing up.

Let It Go

The other parent will never be as good as you. Now that I’ve said it, go forth and paint your toes, watch Netflix, even cook dinner without hearing, I’m hungry.  Until you can walk by the learning area without giving your two cents, resist the urge.

At some point, you have to relinquish control and trust your partner has your kids’ best interest too. This isn’t a license to dump all the duties on the other person, because, after all, this is why you’re ticked off, but a chance to make learning a family thing.

 

Be like Elsa

 

Conclusion

To wrap it up, we’d all like to go back to a time when online meant hanging clothes out to dry. Dad worked, Mom cleaned the house wearing pearls, and kids played outside. Pfffft!

In the new millennial, we’re faced with challenges our grandparents and even our parents didn’t have to deal with. Parental involvement means all hands all deck. Homeschooling isn’t any different. Our kids should benefit from the educational and life experiences both parents have to offer.

Comments?

How about you? Are you pulling all the weight on the homeschool journey? Does it feel like your partner is taking you for granted because you stay at home to teach the kids? If you’re one of the lucky ones who has a helped a partner get on deck, please share your comments and suggestions below.

Bonnie@adhdhomeschooled.com

twitter@Workathomelady

Pinterest@blogginTXmama

StumbledUpon@ADHDhomeschooled

 

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http://www.scarymommy.com/leave-homework-help-spouse/

http://bit.ly/2AFH3KU

http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/g788/womens-marriage-complaints/

 http://read.bi/2j8f4PY

 https://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/books/lazy-husband/lazy-husband-excerpt/

https://www.upliftingmayhem.com/how-to-help-your-husband-connect-with-the-kids/

5 Things to Consider before Joining a Homeschool Co-Op

From both sides of the homeschool co-op coin

I’m still in the early stages of my homeschool journey with my six-year-old son. I found a curriculum I’m happy with and I enjoy showing him little things like how to make a bed and other useful lifestyle habits. I’m happy with his progress and I’m thinking maybe a homeschool co-op will be a great addition to his experience.

Moms and Dads if you’re anything like me, you probably have this gnawing feeling in the back of your mind that the isolation may affect your child’s social skills.  I’m a work at home mom so my time is devoured by homeschooling, working full time as a customer care agent and building a business.

Sleep is for wusses.

 

Who needs sleep?
Running an empire on coffee and creativity

 

I know he needs to be around kids his own age and I try to include fun time during my short breaks and lunch. Therefore, I keep the weekends fun and manage to slip in a learning opportunity without him noticing.

But is that enough?

When I first started thinking about homeschooling him, I took to Facebook to find an online group in my area. I’m being honest when I say they weren’t much help. I remained a part of the group, but I seldom posted because I didn’t feel anyone took me seriously.

I decided to homeschool because of an eye-opening negative experience with the public school system. I jumped back on Facebook determined to give them another chance. I still wasn’t feeling it so I looked for more groups. I found some wonderful people in my city and beyond who are fun and are willing to share without asking too many questions.

I’m naturally socially anxious so when someone asks me too many questions, I get suspicious. I know it’s not their fault, but if you’re already in the know, I think I should be the one with the questions.

Am I wrong?

Choose what's right for you

Enough about that, let’s get back to co-ops. In case you’re newbie, a homeschool co-op is a group of families who meet together and work cooperatively to achieve common goals. Co-ops were created to build a community of families who homeschool.

These big groups aren’t just for churches and YMCAs anymore. You can find them online, word of mouth, or even start your own. Many have a Christian background but are open to all beliefs.

I’ll be honest with you. There’s a great debate in the homeschool community co-ops. Some people say they can’t do without their co-ops and others say it’s unnecessary.

If you’re on the fence about joining a co-op here are some things to consider:

  • Rules
  • Cost
  • Activities
  • Schedule
  • People

Rules

Consider if a homeschool co-op is for you.

First of all, a homeschool co-op isn’t like a club where everyone can join. By no means do they discriminate, but they may have a limit on the families they accept for the year. Sometimes, they hold an open house when a slot becomes available; if they do, take this opportunity to find out if the co-op is a good fit for you.

Cost

Next, some co-ops do have fees. They may be collected monthly, annually, or members are asked to pay per activity. This is to help everyone in the co-op participate as some families may be on a limited income.

If spending money bothers you, you should know the fees aren’t anything ridiculous. On average fees are less than $200 annually plus the money funds the co-ops. The fees may pay for books, field trips, and even emergency funds when families get strapped.

Activities

Bible studies, science fairs, field trips, tutoring, and dances, oh my! Some co-ops have organized sports teams and play against other co-ops or organizations. Children are grouped by age, not skill and teamwork not competition is the conveyed message.

Schedule

Some co-ops are casual, but most of the ones I’ve seen run a tight ship. If you aren’t active, they will give you the boot. For the stricter co-ops, parents are expected to volunteer their time, attend meetings, and pay dues.

My request was denied for a mommy group because I work full time. Never mind I work second shift. Pfffttt!

People

Finally, the most important part of homeschool co-ops are the people who lead it and the children who benefit from it. In public school as long as you pay the PTA dues, you hardly had to show your face. You only had to play nice when your child begged you to volunteer.

Homeschool communities are built by people who have the same goal. I’m not in one right now, I won’t make the assumption it’s all rainbows and sunshine, but I believe there are some groups out there who work diligently to get provide a safe space for families to connect with their children and each other.

Also, there’s a co-op called FEAST I’ve heard great reviews. You may want to check to see if there is one in your city or town.

What I’ve Learned

Co-ops can be a valuable part of your child’s education. They can make friends without labels and learned to be valued as a person and not a number. Most importantly, I’ve learned there are flaws just like any other organization and unlike public school, isn’t a one size fit all thing.

In conclusion, homeschooling co-ops aren’t for everyone. There are some people who can’t live without it and others say it’s totally unnecessary. The good thing is you have a choice and isn’t that what matters most of all?

 

 

How about you? Comment and share your homeschool co-op experience below? Was it yay or nay? I’d love to hear about it!

 

Bonnie Harris Price

@workathomelady

@blogginTXmama

@40ishmom

bonnie@ADHDhomeschooled.com

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http://www.onlypassionatecuriosity.com/5-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-join-a-homeschool-co-op/

https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschool-groups-to-join-or-not-to-join/

https://www.myjoyfilledlife.com/2016/03/08/5-reasons-to-join-a-homeschool-co-op/

https://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/how-important-is-a-co-op/

https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/what-is-homeschool-co-op/