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What to do when you’re forced to make a tough decision
I made a tough decision this week. I quit my job after management left me no choice.
My son Keith is six years old. He was diagnosed with ADHD at age 3. He’s been kicked out of two daycare center for his behavior and I withdrew him from school after he was hastily charged with bullying another student.
In late 2017, I made the decision to reduce my hours to spend more time with him. I also made the decision to sell my house so my family could downgrade thus reducing living expenses. Much to our surprise the house sold quickly and we had to pack up 10 years in a matter of days, find a new place to live, and oh did I mention my daughter was getting married too this past December?
We made it through those challenges with our sanity intact. As we transitioned from a home to an apartment with noisy neighbors and limited parking, I prepared for my next challenge to return to the office.
From WAHM to Unemployed Mom
Company policy states when aWork At Home employee moves, they must return to the office until an appointment is scheduled to add an Internet business line. This normally takes about 1-2 weeks. As soon as I found an apartment, I submitted my information to my supervisor to help move things along.
The first week at the office wasn’t bad. My husband took some time off and was able to keep our son while I worked. The second week presented a challenge because my husband returned to work. I had to rely on my newlywed daughter to help.
My daughter works the night shift and has a one-year-old daughter. Oh, did I mention she’s a high-risk pregnancy? I had to hire a sitter to fill in the gaps.
I was blessed with another homeschool Mom Jonetta Grant who charged me a reasonable rate to babysit my son. Since I didn’t budget for this and I work fewer hours I knew this is something I couldn’t continue to do for a long period of time.
I asked my supervisor daily how much longer I had to work at the office. The money I spent on babysitting, gas and other things that come with working away from home was going to be a burden soon. Plus, I was too tired to work on my blog and building my business.
I was told it could take 4-6 weeks. That means I would have been stuck in the office until the end of February.
Are you kidding me?
I knew it didn’t take that long to return home because I’m smarter than the average bear. Even though this company prides itself on work/life balance and promoting stellar employees; their actions said otherwise. I know the difference between pee and rain.
When I saw that email that said I could return home February 26th I became livid. I chose to leave. I cried all the way home.
Handling Tough Decisions
Quitting a job is never an easy decision. Let me be clear, my husband and I are working class people. He’s logical, I’m more of a free spirit, a persona I’ve been fighting all my life because it doesn’t have a good track record of paying the bills.
But what am I teaching my son, daughter, and granddaughter about trusting in themselves?
I’ve worked since I was 14. I follow the rules and I find myself at the mercy of people who don’t give a rat’s rear end about my feelings, my family, and even my health. All they care about is what I can do for them at that moment.
If you have a job that doesn’t respect you, people (doctors included) who don’t take your child’s diagnosis or treatment seriously, or people who live to silence your voice here are some suggestions:
How to make Tough Decisions
- Fight or flight
- Trust your Instinct
- Stick with it
Fight or flight
I researched a lot of articles about making tough decisions. For some reason, all of them had to do with food so here’s my take on it.
Being a working parent means a constant struggle of juggling priorities. Yet when facing a tough decision that may affect your family’s well being, it comes down to fight or flight. In my situation, fighting with them wasn’t going to help me do what I needed to do.
Fleeing a situation that was going to do my family more harm than good was the best decision for me. Plus having a sitter was making me a lazy parent. I’d also lost momentum with my blogging and other business ventures.
Trust your instincts
When all else fails, you should go with your instinct. Granted some folks may think I went on emotion, and while some of it may be true. I’ve been preparing for escaping the hamster wheel for a while now.
This isn’t my first blog, but this is the first time I took steps to monetize it. I’d put in time, money, and research into homeschooling and helping my son with his ADHD. I’m a professional and I believe in giving two weeks notice, but this was a situation that put people on notice that my family’s well being is nothing to play with.
Stick with your decision
I could throw all types of slogans at you, but I won’t waste your time. When you’ve made a tough decision, stick with it. There is one phrase that comes to mind, you can choose comfort or you can choose courage, but you can’t choose both.”
My supervisor called and left a message I ignored. I didn’t want to hear about her disappointment or an explanation how she could’ve done things better.
All I know is I’m going to stick to my guns this time and make it work for me and the people I care about.
In conclusion, if I gave the impression that it’s all about me, it isn’t. This is about a 6-year-old boy with an unfair label as a bully and a mother who turns her life upside down regularly to give him what he needs. This about a granddaughter who follows her Gigi everywhere and loves to hands out kisses like chocolate.
This is about a husband who knows his wife is much more than a call center agent.
This is about a chubby little nine-year-old girl with crooked teeth who fails more than she tries but is still stands so she can try again.
What about you?
Are you facing a tough decision? A job you hate? The decision to medicate or not to medicate? To homeschool or not? Do you feel guilty? I’d love to hear your stories, please comment below.
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